Take My Life Lord Part 1

Bible Reading: I Kings Chapters 18-19

Elijah was afraid and ran for his life. When he came to Beersheba in Judah, he left his servant there, while he himself went a day’s journey into the desert. He came to a broom tree, sat down under it and prayed that he might die. ‘I have had enough, Lord,’ he said. ‘Take my life; I am no better than my ancestors.’ Then he lay down under the tree and fell asleep. All at once an angel touched him and said, ‘Get up and eat.’ He looked around, and there by his head was a cake of bread baked over hot coals, and a jar of water. He ate and drank and then lay down again. The angel of the Lord came back a second time and touched him and said, ‘Get up and eat, for the journey is too much for you.’ So he got up and ate and drank. Strengthened by that food, he traveled forty days and forty nights until he reached Horeb, the mountain of God (I Kings 19:3-8, NIV).
     Have you ever struggled with thoughts of suicide; or wanted your life to end? When life seems unbearable and you want to say, “enough already,” the Lord does not say enough with you. He is right there holding your hand. He knows the depression, anxiety, and/or discouragement you are experiencing. He wants to walk with you, gently healing you throughout the journey.
     Elijah was one of the greatest prophets in scripture. He was a man of incredible faith. He prayed fire from heaven and saw the Lord use him powerfully to destroy the prophets of Baal. Yet when Jezebel threatened to take his life, he was consumed with fear and ran for his life. He sunk into depression and even wanted to die.
     Elijah was at a point of exhaustion. He was the key player of a momentous event, helping restore the Israelites relationship with God. He saw the Lord answer his prayer as fire burned up the sacrifice, the wood, the stones, the soil, and all the water filling the trenches around the alter. He saw the people turn back to the Lord crying out, ‘The Lord-he is God! The Lord—he is God!” (I Kings 18:39). He also saw the Lord answer his prayers by bringing rain and was empowered by God to run faster than Ahab’s chariot all the way from Mr. Carmel to Jezreel (about 17-20 miles). Elijah had done amazing things through God’s power upon him. Yet his exhaustion left him vulnerable and depressed.
     The Lord knew Elijah’s needs and sent an angel to meet those needs. The angel was not sent to scold him or insist that he make himself feel better. Instead, the angel came to minister with food and encouragement. The Lord provided rest and food to help restore Elijah’s strength and water to quench his thirst and rehydrate him. God knew that the journey was too much in his current state of exhaustion. With the angel’s help Elijah was refreshed and now had a direction. He was going to the Mountain of God; the same mountain where Moses met God at the burning bush and where the Lord gave Moses the Ten Commandments. Elijah needed his strength renewed before traveling forty days and nights to be in the presence of the Living God on Mount Horeb.
     When Elijah wanted to die, the Lord did not shame, rebuke, or punish him. Being downcast actually brought him closer to the Lord. Psalm 35:17-18 tells us, “The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” (NIV). The Lord draws close to us when we are hurting. He knows your circumstances and has a specific plan to deliver you.
     It is difficult to hold, on or to care for yourself during times of severe pain. Yet the Lord asks you to hold on to him, choosing life over death. He is very clear about this. He wants you to choose life, and he will help you through the difficulties. He tells us in Deuteronomy 30:19, “This day I call heaven and earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live, and that you may love the Lord your God, listen to his voice, and hold fast to him. For the Lord is your life….”
     If you are having thoughts of suicide, or desire to end your life, get help! One of the first things Elijah did was to isolate himself. He left his servant and walked a day’s journey. He was alone when he lay down and asked the Lord to take his life. It is not safe to isolate yourself or to put off getting help. The Lord sent a qualified messenger in the form of an angel to help Elijah. He wants to use a skilled person to help you. The Lord will provide someone to walk with you through the pain and toward healing, if you will step out and seek help.
     The Lord has used specific individuals in my own life during times of discouragement and emotional pain. There were some who did not speak compassionately, nor did they comprehend what I was going through. I remember a time of hurting when someone scorned, “stop feeling sorry for your-self, you’re just having a pity party.” This type of shame was not from the Lord, and he did bring specific people in my life to walk with me toward healing.
     This devotional is designed to provide encouragement, so that you may draw close to the Lord. However, it does not take the place of professional counseling help. If you are in danger to yourself (or to others) call a crisis line in your area, call 911, or go to the hospital right now. The Lord will use his Spirit and people to minister to you.
     When our life is the darkest, Jesus shines through our darkness, and brings us light and life. He gives us hope and understanding. Most importantly, he holds us and never lets us go. He wants to free you from the pain and misery, and bring you joy.
     “This poor man called, and the Lord heard him; he saved him out of all his troubles. The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear him, and he delivers them” (Psalm 34:6-7, NIV).


Prayer:
     Heavenly Father, I am in pain; more pain than I feel I can bear. I am desperate for you Lord. I need your help. Thank you that you care about me so much that you gave your life for me. You felt all my pain, my failings, my weaknesses, and my sin when you were on the cross. Lord, I have wanted to end my life, because it hurts so badly. But I understand that you want to heal me and give me abundant life. Jesus, I trust in you to help me. I commit now to choose life. I choose life Lord, and I ask that you lead me to someone who can help me with my depression (or anxiety, sadness, mania, agitation, rage). Give me the courage to ask for help, and to walk this journey, knowing you are with me every step of the way. Thank you Jesus that you love me and will heal me.